


Castiel's Breaking Point

by suckerfordeansfreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But he has a Breaking Point, Canon Compliant, Cas'll say Yes, Castiel is patient, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Crying Dean, Don't worry, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, We Just Love Each Other, but not really because Dean is too Chicken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckerfordeansfreckles/pseuds/suckerfordeansfreckles
Summary: Castiel has been keeping quiet for four weeks, when he finally runs out of patience.Four weeks of him shoving the tiny, velvety box out of the way when grabbing his socks, suppressing his anger about Dean’s apparent inability to find a good hiding place or to just think about who he shares his room- and sock drawer- with.Four weeks of him waiting for Dean to pop the big question.Four weeks of his mood progressively turning gloomier...





	Castiel's Breaking Point

If you were to ask Castiel about what exactly he considers to be his best character trait, he would, without hesitation, point out his unwavering patience.

 

The eons he has spent as an angel, watching species arise and go extinct, watching humanity develop ever so slowly, soon taught him how to be patient. Though, those eons are nothing compared to the years he has spent with the Winchesters. Although these years just make a tiny fraction of his lifetime, his patience could not be better schooled than it is right now, after over a decade with the two brothers.

 

Dean Winchester, however, is the single person who had taught him most of his lessons in patience.

 

Castiel has been patient with Dean for years, and up until now he never came to regret all the time he has spent waiting for Dean. Waiting for him to open up, waiting for him to accept his own feelings for men and especially for Castiel, waiting for him to acknowledge Cas’ feelings for him.

 

It has taken Dean almost nine years to finally accept his, definitely more than brotherly, feelings for Castiel. It took him three more months to define the physical and emotional things that have been going on between them as a serious relationship, to call Cas his boyfriend in the privacy of his own room without stumbling over the word. Another six months later he decided to open up to his brother Sam about them, and even though Sam has known about their feelings for each other for the longest time and appeared to be even more ecstatic about the news than the couple themselves, Dean needed another three weeks to allow himself to kiss his boyfriend in front of his brother.  
They spent one year of their relationship sleeping and living in different rooms while dating, until Dean was ready for Cas to move his five belongings to the hunter’s room and to officially move in with him.

 

All of this never bothered Castiel in the least; he knows that Dean has spent a major part of his life suppressing most of his feelings, the biggest exception being his almost ever-present anger. Nobody should be surprised to learn that he’s not only troubled by showing his emotions openly, but especially by showing his emotions for another men- after a lifetime of repressing any and every thing he ever felt for another male. On top of that, Dean isn’t used to experiencing positive feelings- let alone people caring unconditionally about him- and needs to take his time learning to accept that, too. 

 

Cas only wants Dean to be happy, though. He has absolutely no intention of stressing him or putting him under any kind of pressure to move faster, which is why he has always given Dean as much time as he needed. Dean is worth all the waiting.

 

During the three years of their relationship, he never had reason to regret his patience for Dean and his behavior.

 

Until now.

 

It’s been four weeks since Cas had accidentally found the small, velvety box. It was Dean’s fault, really. What did he expect- hiding something that important in their shared sock drawer??

 

His first instinct was to shove the box back in the drawer, close it and pretend he never even saw it. It’s what he did, at least at first. 

 

He spent the rest of that day on his own, since the two brothers were off on a hunt and weren’t supposed to return until the next evening. Just Castiel, lounging around the bunker in a bubble of happiness, feeling giddy to face Dean whenever he returns home and into his arms. 

 

The next morning, when Cas opened the drawer again, he had to face the box a second time. And that second time, he simply couldn’t summon the willpower to just leave it in there. Instead, he opened it, to find a simple, silver ring with a pair of delicately engraved wings. The ecstatic feelings from last night returned in full force, leaving him even more eager to see his boyfriend that evening.

 

If Dean actually noticed his boyfriend’s good mood when he entered the bunker, he refrained from commenting on it. Of course Cas was secretly hoping for Dean to pop the question right that evening, he had been waiting for him to come back home for two days. When their evening ended up consisting of quiet cuddles instead of lifechanging questions, he wasn’t angry either. It was just natural that Dean would need to take his time with this, too.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Castiel has been keeping quiet for four weeks, when he finally runs out of patience. Four weeks of him shoving the box out of the way when grabbing his socks, suppressing his anger about Dean’s apparent inability to find a good hiding place or to just think about who he shares his room with. Four weeks of him waiting for Dean to ask the big question. Four weeks of his mood progressively turning gloomier, even though he’s doing his best to not let this whole thing influence his attitude towards his boyfriend or their relationship.

 

However, Castiel knows that confronting Dean would only scare him away. So he waits, once again, for Dean Winchester. 

 

Cas’ problem isn’t that he hasn’t got any patience left to deal with the situation, it’s that he’s slowly starting to doubt Dean’s feelings for him. 

 

The fact that Dean himself appeared to get a little sadder with every day that passed, and started spending time holed up and alone more often than with Cas or Sam, just made it even more difficult for Cas to decipher the whole situation. 

 

The last days he had caught himself over and over again trying to interpret Dean’s every move, every single word he spoke. He worried himself to sleep every night- because if it takes Dean that long to pop the question, surely he must doubt his feelings for Cas as well. If he were sure about them, about their relationship, why would he wait so long after actually buying the ring??

 

Castiel even considered that the ring might not be for him at all, that it’s just a leftover from one of Dean’s past relationships; though after days of thinking it over, he decided that the engravings must show otherwise. It didn’t bring any relief, though. It just made this horribly tight feeling in his chest worsen to the point that he felt bad about snuggling up to Dean at night, fearing that his boyfriend might not even want him there. That he might have decided that Castiel is not the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, after all. That maybe he wants to break up after realizing that, but feels unable to tell Castiel.

 

Cas sank in the routine they had going on around the bunker, he joins Dean and Sam for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner, and spends the rest of the day searching for a quiet spot to be on his own and read or ponder over his dilemma. The nights are horrible. Cas joins Dean in bed as late as possible and slips into bed next to him without talking or touching him more than is necessary. When he wakes up in the morning, unlike a few months ago, Dean is always gone and the bed beside him is cold.

 

At the moment, all three of them are at home and Cas has been holed up in the library for about four hours when it should be time for dinner. He still doesn’t know what to do about Dean. All he knows is that, lately, they rarely talk to each other and Dean still shuts himself off. Their relationship has basically been going downhill since Dean had bought and he himself had found the ring, and that just can’t be a coincidence. Dean probably just finally realized that Cas wasn’t good enough for him and is searching for a way out of their relationship.

 

And there, under a mountain of blankets, on the couch of the bunkers library, Cas decides that he can’t keep on dealing with this any longer. If he hurts harder with every passing day and Dean feels miserable enough about their relationship to stop talking to Cas entirely, Cas has to put an end to all of their pain. He’s finally going to confront Dean. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He finds Dean in his room, lying flat on his (or is it still ‘their’?) bed, a hand covering his face. The lights are dimmed and there’s an empty beer bottle on the nightstand.  
“Dean?” Cas hesitates for a second before entering the room.

 

Dean shoots up on the bed, hand falling from his face and Cas can see his reddened eyes and what looks like tear-tracks on his freckled cheeks. “Cas.” It comes out as a whisper, just as broken as the look in his eyes when they fix Castiel.

 

“Dean, I believe we have something to talk about,” he says as gently as he can manage, walking up to the bed and sitting down in front of Dean. He tries his best to suppress his own feelings and not let them influence his words, because he doesn’t want to make Dean feel even worse about his decisions than he obviously already does.

 

“Please just- can we just not?” It’s almost a whimper this time, new tears making their way over his cheeks. “I got it, you really don’t need to put it into words. You can stay here, of course. Get your old room back. I’ll- I’ll get over it… eventually.” He drops his gaze, hastily wiping at his cheeks.

 

“Dean, what are you talking about? You’ll get over what?! Considering that you are the one breaking up with me, I don’t think you have the right to make me feel bad about wanting to talk about it. I’ve been patient for such a long time, I don’t deserve this, just because you aren’t content with our relation-“

 

“What the hell?! What do you mean, I’m breaking up with you? Fucking hell, Cas, I wanted to marry you! Apparently, you are the one not ready for that!” Dean sounds downright furious now, but there is hurt seeping through in his voice.

 

“You didn’t even ask me! How the hell would you know if I’m ready or not?” He tries to keep calm, he really does; but even he has a breaking point.

 

“Fuck, Cas... You know I’m not good with this shit! You know I wouldn’t be able to ask you to your face- can you even imagine how much worse I’d be doing if you’d said ‘no’ to my face?! You know about the ring, you know what it meant. Why didn’t you bring it up?? Why- why did you just ignore it?” His face is contorted by rage, though the tears falling over his cheeks betray his anger.

 

Cas can feel himself tear up not, too, his own tears a sign of confusion more than anger. He has no idea what he did to make Dean feel this way- he actually didn’t do anything but be patient, as always. “I was waiting for you to ask me! I thought you weren’t ready yet, I thought you were hiding the ring!”

 

“In our shared sock drawer? Do you think I’m stupid?!”

 

“If that was your way of bringing up the topic of marriage, or actually asking me to marry you- yes, I think you might just be!!” This time, his seriousness slips up at the end of his sentence and he snorts a laugh, trying to control the urge to burst out laughing like a maniac.

 

“Well, if you laughing at me isn’t exactly what I need right now. Can you just… leave,” Dean mumbles, eyes screwed shut and fists clenched at his sides.

 

Cas’ laughter dies down immediately. “No.” He leans forward into Dean’s personal space and brushes his nose against Dean’s. “And yes.”

 

“W-what?” There’s a spark of hope in his eyes as he opens them, one Cas won’t ever let die down again.

 

“Yes, you stupid assbutt! Yes, of course I’ll marry you!! How could you think I wouldn’t want to? I love you more than life itself, you know that!”

 

“I don’t… I didn’t- I wasn’t sure if you’d-“ 

 

Cas doesn’t let him finish, just surges forward and kisses him. He feels tears on his cheeks when he leans back and lifts his palm to cradle Dean’s cheek. 

 

Dean still looks confused, as if he can’t quite grasp what’s going on. “I thought that was your way of breaking up with me! You didn’t talk about it for four weeks, you withdrew yourself from me. I thought, shit, I thought I had lost you.“ His breath hitches again, but this time it’s him who leans forward and starts planting gentle kisses all over Cas’ face, concentrating on the skin that is still wet from tears.

 

“You are never getting rid of me, ever. Now get up and get me my ring! I’ve been waiting for this for four weeks. You let me wait one more minute and I might just start strangling you,” Cas grins.

 

Dean is up and off the bed immediately, yanking the drawer open and frantically pulling the box out. He opens it, grabs the ring and carelessly drops the box to the floor.

 

He’s beaming like the sun when he finally lowers himself back onto the bed and climbs into Cas’ lap, carefully taking his fiancé’s hand in his and slipping the ring onto his finger. 

 

They are both still staring at it in awe, when Cas registers a whispered “Castiel Winchester. Fuck, you have no idea how much I love you. I don’t think I can wait much longer to actually marry you.”  
Hearing those words, Cas thinks that maybe being impatient might have its perks as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I just realized that the boys cry a LOT in my fics... and I just want to put it out there that that's not because I like hurting them but because I'm a sucker for them actually expressing their emotions. Especially Dean. Sorry, not sorry.
> 
> Talk to me on [Tumblr](https://suckerfordeansfreckles.tumblr.com/) ?
> 
> Thank you for every single kudos and comment! They seriously make my day. <3


End file.
